#TheGoodPersonLife

 In this episode of The Authentic Life, we dive into #IAmAGoodPersonLife — exploring how our need to be seen as good can sometimes block true growth and accountability. 

Being a good person isn’t about perfection; it’s about being teachable, humble, and open to feedback. Join Keisha for a real, reflective conversation on identity, impact, and what it truly means to live authentically beyond the labels we cling to.

#TheAuthenticLife #IAmAGoodPersonLife #SelfAwareness #GrowthJourney

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to The Authentic Life
• 2:14 The "Good Person" Resume
• 9:22 When Goodness Becomes a Shield
• 14:14 Ego Wearing the Mask of Goodness
• 19:31 Intent Doesn't Erase Impact
• 24:28 Redefining Good as Teachable
• 29:52 The "Good Person" Life Audit Challenge
• 38:27 Next Episode Preview and Closing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi, it's your girl, keisha, and welcome to the Authentic Life. Each episode, I'll guide you on the journey to living fully, freely and unapologetically. Together, we'll dive into real stories, practical insights and steps you can take to embrace your truth and show up as your most authentic self. So guess what? I am glad that you are here with me, let's get started. Glad that you are here with me, let's get started. Hello, hello, hello and welcome to Hashtag, the Authentic Life, a space where we explore what it really means to live fully, freely and unapologetically as your true self. It's your girl, keisha, and if you're new here, I'm your host, I'm your guide and I might just be your accountability partner by the end of this journey. So, whether you're tuning in from your car, your office or your favorite cozy corner at home, I'm just so glad that you decided to be here with me today. But, as usual, before we dive in, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you who have embraced hashtag the authentic life journey with me, whether you downloaded the podcast, shared it with your friends or just tuned in to listen. You've been incredible, and a special shout out to those of you who have taken this thing a step further by either purchasing hashtag the authentic life merch, which we still have, merch there's going to be some summer merch and some other merchandise coming. So if you've purchased something, thank you so much. If you have not hit your girl up, and to those people that took it an extra step and became a subscriber, I so appreciate you. Hopefully you are getting your subscriber only specials that are coming out every other week. So, for those of you that are out there wearing the merch, sharing the message of living authentically that fills me with so much gratitude and so much joy, you're not just listening, you're actually living it. So thank you for showing up for yourself and for this community. Remember, this wasn't just the launch of hashtag the authentic life. It was the launch of something that just might actually change your life.

Speaker 1: 2:09

All right, let's dive in into what we're talking about today. The topic we're talking about today is something that I've been having a lot of conversation about. If you've been walking this journey with me, then you know we've been peeling back layers, right. We've talked about right. We've talked about the boundary life. We've talked about the self-worth, self-love, all of those things Hashtag, learn, grow, go all of that stuff.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Each of those episodes invited us to look at how we show up for ourselves, how we set our standards and how we find the courage to move forward when something or someone no longer fits. And today we're looking at a phrase so many of us live by, but rarely example I'm a good person. And now I know what you're thinking, keisha being a good person isn't a bad thing, and you are absolutely right. But what happens when you wrap your identity in that goodness so tightly that you can't see when you're doing harm, or, worse, when you use your goodness as a defense to avoid your growth? Well, guess what? Welcome to hashtag the good person life or hashtag I am a good person life, whichever one you want to use the episode where we hold space for the truth that being a good person doesn't mean you're beyond accountability. So you ready to jump into this? Get your notebook, get your glass of wine, whatever you decide that you need, as you listen to me, talk about hashtag the good person life. You need, as you listen to me, talk about hashtag the good person life and let's go Okay. So let's kick this thing off right.

Speaker 1: 3:55

So we're going to start with something I like to call the good person resume. Now, you may not have physically typed this thing out, but I guarantee you you got one. It's the list of qualities you silently run through whenever someone questions you, especially when the feedback feels uncomfortable. It sounds a little bit like this I'm kind, I treat people how I want to be treated. I don't start no drama. I don't start no drama, I'm respectful, I'm supportive, especially to my friends. I show up, I mean well, I pray for folks, even the ones who hurt me. I'm not perfect, but I've got a good heart and listen, none of that is wrong. That may be very well who you are. In fact, those qualities, those are some beautiful qualities. That list is built from your lived experiences, your values, your upbringing and how you survive the world. So I'm not here to discredit that. But here's what I want to ask what happens when that resume becomes the reason we can't take feedback? So let me bring life to this story real quick.

Speaker 1: 5:13

So many years ago I was working with somebody and I made a quick comment Nothing that I thought twice about, to be honest. But later that day the person reached out and was like hey, keisha, about to be honest. But later that day the person reached out and was like hey, keisha, when you said that you know people, that thing about people not pulling their weight, I felt like you were talking about me. Now, in my mind I wasn't. I was speaking generally, but the moment she said that, my mental resume came out.

Speaker 1: 5:44

I'm not passive aggressive. If you know me, I'm direct, I don't. I don't do no fluff, no is a complete sentence. Yes, it's a complete sentence. So you know I don't do passive aggressive. I can be very direct. So if I had an issue right you know, I would have said it to the person. I would never call someone out like that in front of other people. I have more respect for people I work with and people that I'm around, and this particular person knows that I'm all about support and not shame. And what I realized later after, like processing that and maybe the adrenaline wore off and that ego life that we have sometimes calmed down was that I wasn't really hearing her or hearing that person. I was defending my goodness instead of sitting in their experience.

Speaker 1: 6:33

That moment changed how I understood the phrase I am a good person, because being a good person doesn't mean you never cause harm. It means that when you do, you're willing to own it, even if it wasn't intentional. Let me say that again being a good person doesn't mean you're incapable of hurting people. It means you're committed to making things right when you do. And here's when it gets real when you become so attached to that good person resume that you lose the ability to reflect, to listen and to receive. We begin to confuse being good with being above accountability.

Speaker 1: 7:16

So let me ask you something, and I want you to really think about this when was the last time you received feedback and your first instinct was to list all of the reasons why that thing couldn't be true about you? Maybe it was your partner saying you weren't listening. Maybe it was your coworker who said your tone felt sharp. Maybe it was your friend who said you hadn't shown up the way they needed. What did you do? I want you to lean into that moment. Or did you lean into that resume of yours, right? So here's a little reflection for you. This is where self-work begins when we shift from. That's not who I am to tell me more about how that felt to you. That's the move from image to integrity.

Speaker 1: 8:04

So when you're thinking about strategy, I want you to turn your resume into a mirror. So I'm going to make this practical for you. Write your good resume out for real, like nodding your head. Write it out for real. List the qualities you believe that define your goodness. Then ask do I still show up like this when I feel challenged, when I feel triggered or when I feel misunderstood? When do people experience me? Oh, I'm sorry, how do people experience me when I'm under pressure? Does my resume reflect who I am or who I want to be? Then take it one step further. Ask a trusted person. When I get feedback, how do I usually respond? And then here's the hard part Just listen, don't explain, don't defend, just receive.

Speaker 1: 8:58

So this week I want you to stop reciting your goodness and start reflecting it, especially in hard moments, because your resume might tell the world who you are, but your behavior tells people what it's like to be in relationship with you. Okay, so now we're going to talk about when good becomes a shield and that shield blocks the growth. Okay, so we just spent time naming our good person resume, those internal checklists we pull out when someone challenges us or when we feel like our intentions are being questioned. Now we're about to go a little deeper. Let's talk about how that same goodness can become a shield. Because for many of us, being a good person doesn't just live in our values, it lives in our identity. And when our identity is rooted in always being good, always being kind, always being the bigger person, we start using that identity as protection from reflection. Let me explain so.

Speaker 1: 10:01

Several years ago if you know me, I do coaching Haven't really done a lot of individual coaching in a while. I'm shifting back into doing a little bit of that. I've had some people reach out and want some one-on-one coaching, so I've kind of picked that up, but not as much. But several years ago I had a client we are going to call her April because it is April and I was born in April, april 3rd, but anyway who came to me feeling stuck. She said Keisha, you know what I don't get it. I always show up for people. I'm never the one to start stuff and somehow I'm always the one person who has everybody got a problem with.

Speaker 1: 10:37

So we started unpacking her recent conflict and every time I asked a question about the other person's experience she would say things like they misunderstood me. I was only trying to help. I didn't say it with an attitude they must have been projecting. And listen. I'm not saying she didn't have good intentions. I fully believe she did. But what she didn't realize was that she was using her goodness as a deflection tool. Using her goodness as a deflection tool Every time we got close to reflection she'd shield herself with. But that's not who I am and that right there. That's the moment growth gets blocked.

Speaker 1: 11:14

Here's a little reflection. You see, here's the thing when your identity is wrapped in being a good person, it becomes really hard to admit when you get it wrong, because getting it wrong feels like being wrong and being wrong feels like your identity is under attack. So what do we do? We shield ourselves. We say things like they're just being sensitive. I'm always the one who gets blamed. No one ever sees how hard I try. You focus only on the bad things, not the good things. Right, what we're really doing is prioritizing perception over connection, and I will tell you, someone's perception is their reality. So we'd rather protect our image than do the work to repair the relationship. But that shield doesn't keep people from being hurt. It just keeps you from being accountable.

Speaker 1: 12:12

So if your need to be a good person makes you emotionally unavailable when someone tells you. They're hurting. That's not goodness. That's not goodness, baby, that's ego in a glass box. Trust me, we're gonna have an episode called hashtag the ego life, and it's gonna be a good one. You're so busy trying not to crack that you don't even realize you stop letting people in.

Speaker 1: 12:40

So y'all had a strategy in the first part. Strategy two replace protection with presence. So how do we shift? The next time someone gives you feedback, resist the urge to protect your identity Instead of saying that's not who I am. Try saying that wasn't my intention, but I hear you and I want to understand more. Notice that shift. You're not abandoning your character. You're expanding your awareness. Create a pause, practice when you feel the urge to defend your goodness. Use that as a cue to breathe and get curious instead of guarded. Ask yourself what part of this am I uncomfortable hearing? Is this a moment to be right or is this a moment to be real? Can I be present with this person, even if I don't agree with everything they're saying? Because that's the shift from goodness as identity to goodness as emotional maturity. And let's be real, good people get it wrong too. The difference isn't whether you mess up. It's whether you're willing to repair without turning the moment into a courtroom where you're trying to prove your innocence. You don't need to protect your character like it's on trial. You need to practice presence, like your integrity depends on it Because it does. Okay, so Now we're going to talk about when ego wears the mask of goodness, and I told you I'm going to have a whole episode called hashtag the ego life.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Me and my therapist talk about ego all the time. Okay, so so far we've talked about how being a good person can turn into a shield, but now we're about to go a little bit deeper, into something a little sneakier. What happens when that shield is really just ego disguised as goodness? And listen, I'm not talking about the loud, the arrogant. I know everything ego. I'm talking about the emotionally intelligent ego, the polished one, the well-spoken one, the socially aware one, the one that knows that all the right things to say leads with inclusion and affirmations, that encourages others, uplifts the room, but still quietly refuses to be seen as wrong. This ego doesn't yell, it actually performs. It blends in with our character and hides behind. I meant well, it's the part of us that says I'm a good person, so this feedback must be a misunderstanding.

Speaker 1: 15:17

Now, a few years ago I was mentoring someone early in their leadership journey. We had a one-on-one conversation and I gave some feedback. I genuinely thought I was being thoughtful, encouraging and supportive, pointing out where she was doing really, really well, but also talking about where she needed to grow and potentials where she could shine. About a week later she contacted me and she was like Keisha, I really appreciate your time and your mentorship, but the last time we met I walked away from our conversation not feeling the best. I left questioning whether I even really belong in this space, and let me tell you that hit me hard. I mean real hard.

Speaker 1: 16:02

Now here's where the ego stepped in, because in my mind I had been gentled. I had poured into her the very thing that I feel like I was put on this earth to do. I even gave her resources and I followed up. So I immediately started scrolling through my mental good person resume like. But I supported her, I believed in her. I would never try to tear someone down. And then I realized this wasn't about what I did in my mind. It was about how she experienced me in real time. What hurt her didn't cancel my intentions, but my ego wanted to use my intentions to cancel her experience. And that was the moment I knew I need to work on some things and talk about that ego. So that's why, for years with my therapist, I talk about the ego Hashtag, the ego life. I can't wait to do the episode.

Speaker 1: 16:55

But anyway, you see, the ego is tricky. It doesn't always show up loud. Sometimes that thing come in real smooth and real calm. Sometimes it says all the right things but it does everything it can to avoid feeling wrong. This is the ego that doesn't throw tantrums, it just throws credentials. It says I couldn't have done that. I'm the person who uplifts all women. I don't need to be corrected, I do this work. But here's the truth.

Speaker 1: 17:26

Ego tells you to protect your image. Growth tells you to lean into the moment and really listen, and that conversation with her, that was a mirror. Not because I'm a bad person, but because even good people need to grow. So if someone shares their experience and your first instinct is to say let me remind you who I am instead of let me understand how that landed for you, then it's probably not your goodness talking, it's your ego. And ego is loud, but growth whispers. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be present. So strategy three let ego be a signal, not a driver. Check your internal response.

Speaker 1: 18:08

When you feel the need to explain or defend, ask yourself am I protecting my identity or am I prioritizing this relationship? Is this thing about being right or is it about being real and practice reflective humility? Instead of saying that's not who I am, try saying I didn't realize that. Thank you for sharing it with me. I'm gonna sit with that for a minute. I didn't realize that. Thank you for sharing it with me. I'm gonna sit with that for a minute and then make your ego a checkpoint, not a destination. Let it alert you that something feels hard to hear, but don't let it be the voice that decides how you respond. Here's what I'm learning you don't have to prove your goodness to protect it, and when your ego leaves the moment, your integrity actually takes a back seat. So the next time you're triggered, before you defend your resume, pause and ask yourself what am I trying to protect right now? My heart or my image? Because the realist version of you, she's not afraid of feedback. She just, she just focused on growing and changing. Okay Now, intent doesn't erase impact.

Speaker 1: 19:31

All right, let's breathe together for a moment In breathe out, because this next part it's a little tender. It's the part that catches so many good-hearted people off guard, the part where the phrase that wasn't my intention becomes both a comfort blanket and a barrier. Let's get into it. Your intentions do not erase your impact. Let me say it louder for the folks in the back and for my own spirit your intentions do not erase your impact. They help explain it, they give context, but they do not cancel out the hurt that may have been caused by what you said. So story time In one of my workshops, a woman stood up after a session and said I just feel like I shouldn't have to apologize if I didn't mean to hurt someone.

Speaker 1: 20:21

I'm a good person, my heart is never in the wrong place. And you could feel the room shift a little bit, not because people didn't understand where she was coming from, but because so many of us have been there. We all have had those moments where we think why are they upset? I didn't mean it like that, that's not what I said, that's not what I was trying to do. But here's the truth. Impact lives in the experience of the other person, not your explanation of it. Think of it this way If I step on your foot, even by accident, it still hurts, and if my first response is but I didn't mean to, instead of are you okay, I've centered my innocence over your pain and in that moment, even though I didn't mean harm, my reaction keeps the harm going. So we have to stop acting like not meaning to do something is the same as not doing it, because for the person on the receiving end, the pain is still real. And here's the kicker when someone brings something to your attention, especially when they do it gently or courageously, your response is the reflection of your emotional intelligence, not your resume. Do you get defensive and start listing all your good intentions, or do you get curious and ask how did that feel for you? I'll give you another example. This is an example I'll use with my boo.

Speaker 1: 21:40

All the time we talk about intent and impact. Hey, bae, if you push me down, we walking, we walking side by side and we walking down the steps. You bump into me and I fall down the steps. Now when you get thatop, bloop, bloop, bloop I fall down the steps. Now when you get that, when you run down to the steps, you're like hey, hey, are you going to focus on? You ain't mean to do that. Are you going to focus on the fact that I done fell down these steps, I done broke a foot, a leg. I'm all messed up. What we going to focus? Focus on the fact that I fell down these steps and I'm hurting right now Not that you didn't mean to do that thing, because I'm pretty sure you didn't mean to knock me down the stairs. Right now, I'm down the stairs and I'm hurting. Can we focus on that thing and not the fact that that ain't what you meant to do? That's that intent and impact. That's how you got to break it down, when you're always trying to defend, right?

Speaker 1: 22:25

I want you to think about a moment where someone was hurt by something you said or did and your first instinct was to say but that wasn't my intention. Now ask yourself did I ever ask them how they felt? Did I make space for their experience or just did I try to clear my name? Did I listen for understanding or wait for my turn to defend myself? Because let me tell you something I had to learn you can mean well and still do harm. You can love someone and still need to apologize. You can be kind hearted and still be responsible for your words. So strategy number four is lead with repair, not reputation.

Speaker 1: 23:02

When someone says that they're hurt, your first move should not be to explain. It should be to hold space. So try saying I hear you, I didn't realize that. Thank you for trusting me enough to share it. Don't rush to justify, sit with that discomfort. We don't like to be uncomfortable. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stay present in the tension without trying to fix it immediately. Like we don't like to be uncomfortable. So our first thing is hey, how can I solve this thing? How can we shut this down? I don't want to talk about this. It's making me uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 23:34

Then you ask for clarity. Say would you be open to helping me understand more about what brought what that brought up for you? And let the conversation be about the connection, not the correction. And when it's time to apologize, make it simple, not I'm sorry that you feel that way. Say I'm sorry I hurt you, I'll do better and then do better. Let's normalize this thing, y'all. Accountability is not an attack. You have to be accountable for yourself and what you do. It's an invitation to be the kind of person you say you are, remember you, a good person, right? So the next time you're tempted to leave with that wasn't my intention pause and ask is my need to be understood getting in the way of truly understanding this person? Because that's the difference between being right and being in relationship. All right, now we get this thing rolling.

Speaker 1: 24:28

So now we're about to go into redefining good as teachable, not perfect. So now that we've looked at ego my favorite thing to talk about at intention versus impact and how being a good person can get in the way of real reflection, let's go one step further. Let's talk about redefining what good really means. Because if you're anything like me, you probably were raised to believe that good meant being polite, being helpful, staying out of trouble, getting good grades, being the strong one, not talking back, saying the right thing even when your truth stayed silent. You were taught that good meant being agreeable, quiet, kind, but not necessarily whole, not honest, not human. Somewhere along the way, many of us absorb this belief that being a good person means never making mistakes, never disappointing anyone and never being perceived as anything less than admirable. But what I want to shift in that belief is because being a good person is not about being perfect. It's about being teachable. It's about being someone who can be held accountable without falling apart. It's about someone who can hear the hard thing and choose to grow from it instead of fighting it.

Speaker 1: 25:46

I had someone say to me not long ago Keisha, I always feel like I have to come correct around you, like I can't say the wrong thing, and I was like huh, thinking in my head. That was never my intention, but it made me think Was my presence polished or was it pressuring? Was my confidence creating connection or something else? I had to ask myself am I creating space for people to be real or just be careful? And that's one of the reasons why I do this hashtag the authentic life. That's why y'all are getting Keisha Jones, y'all not getting Vice President Jones, y'all not getting none of that like super professional, polished Keisha that many people know me to be, especially in my professional setting. Y'all are getting the full me, the real me, because I don't want people to feel like they can't be themselves, because people do look at me as someone is super confident, well, polished, and you know that space. So I really have tried to think about that and really be conscious of what that looks like. So I really have tried to think about that and really be conscious of what that looks like.

Speaker 1: 26:52

So that conversation reminded me that even when we lead with love, even when we hold high standards, we still need to leave room for people, including ourselves, to be unfinished. And y'all see the unfinished version of me in hashtag the authentic life. Y'all hear about all my stuff and all my problems. A lot of stuff I talk to my therapist about. The authentic life. Y'all hear about all my stuff and all my problems, hats a lot of stuff I talk to my therapist about.

Speaker 1: 27:15

But because the truth is, I've spent years learning how to show up well, but sometimes that well becomes tight. It becomes rigid and if you know me, I don't like to be tight and I don't like to be rigid. I want anybody feel like they can come to me and they can talk to me, and when you're that way, there's no growth in the room where you can't breathe If you're always tight and rigid. You know people. If you know me, know me, you know I can't stand for no uptight person. Right, loosen up, come on now. Everything all right.

Speaker 1: 27:41

So here's the new definition I want you to try on being a good person means being safe to grow around. That includes how others experience you and how you experience yourself. So ask yourself do people feel safe giving me feedback? Do I leave room for nuance or do I need things to be? Either I'm right or they're wrong? Do I treat growth like a process or like a test? I can fail, because growth doesn't live in people pleasing. It lives in being present with the process of becoming. You don't have to be the kindest, most polished, most morally correct version of yourself every single moment of every single day. You just need to be somebody who's willing to stop, reflect and shift, to say dang. I didn't even realize that, but I do now. And then do something with that knowing.

Speaker 1: 28:37

Strategy number five let growth be your definition of good. Start your day with this intention Today. I want to leave people feeling heard, safe and respected, even when I don't get it right the first time. Here's a journal prompt you can use at the end of the day Did my presence today reflect the kind of good I want to be known for? Was I committed to being polished or to being present? And then build your new good resume version 2.0. One that includes, I admit. When I miss it, I know how to apologize well. I ask for feedback without falling apart. I listen to understand, not to just respond or defend. I prioritize impact over intention. I grow out loud. That's the kind of good that heals people, that builds trust, that creates legacy. So let's be real being teachable will take you further than being right ever could. So, instead of clinging to the need to be good, choose to practice good every day, in every space, with every breath, because good character isn't about being untouchable. It's about being someone who touches lives and lets others touch your heart too.

Speaker 1: 29:52

Okay, so before we close out, I'm going to Start adding a challenge. So this week's challenge for you, as you go into your weekend and begin the next week and up until the next episode on, I want you to start putting in this hashtag I'm a good person, life audit, right? So everybody, take a deep breath with me, breathe in, breathe out. This episode has been a lot, but a good kind of a lot, but a lot nonetheless. We've unpacked what it really means to be a good person. We've gotten honest about our ego, impact, feedback and how identity can actually block our growth. Now let's take all of that and move it from your ears to your everyday living and your everyday life, because hashtag the authentic life isn't just about listening, it's about living. This week, I'm inviting you into your hashtag I'm a good person life audit. This isn't about judgment, it's about gentle self-examination, it's about truth, it's about growth and it's about showing up in ways that reflect who you really want to be.

Speaker 1: 30:59

Now, first step in this challenge is to write out your real good person resume. You've heard me say it all through the episodes your good person resume is that mental list of reasons you believe you're a kind, caring, moral or thoughtful human being. Right, and you probably are. Nobody's saying you aren't, but I want you to write it down. Take your journal, your notes app, a piece of scrap paper, whatever works for you and write I'm a good person because. And then let it flow, list out the traits, the habits, the experiences and the beliefs that form your self-perception. After you make that list, I want you to ask yourself now, do I show up this way when I feel challenged, uncomfortable, called out or called in? Because your real goodness isn't just who you are when it's easy, it's who you choose to be when it's hard.

Speaker 1: 31:48

Now, number two for the challenge is to reflect on a moment you got defensive. Now I want you to go back in your mind to a moment when someone gave you feedback or even just says something that didn't sit right with you, and you got defensive. Maybe you said that's not what I meant, maybe you shut down, maybe you spiraled inside, maybe you crashed out. Maybe you told that person you're just being sensitive, whatever it was. I want you to go back and I want you to sit in that thing for a minute. Then I want you to ask yourself was I listening or was I preparing my defense when that thing was going on?

Speaker 1: 32:22

When I was having that conversation, did I give them space to express what they needed or did I center how I felt every time they said something? So what I mean by that? Just for clarity's sake, for those that may be a little confused somebody telling you how you made them feel, and then you, you trying to center yourself in that and how that wasn't your intent. You ain't mean to do that. All of those, it becomes. It becomes about you and not about how they felt. So now, how they, based off of what you saying, now you basically telling them how they feel is wrong, cause that's not what you meant. How many of how many of you have done that? How many of you have experienced that? I have experienced that.

Speaker 1: 33:04

I may have done that, I can't recall, but I definitely have recalled talking to somebody, telling them how I feel, and then, by the time I finished with that con, that conversation, I'm like, damn, I feel bad for feeling how I feel. Maybe I should feel like this, maybe I shouldn't feel like this. Then I'm over here just self-reflecting and checking myself. Then I'm like girl bye, absolutely not. Yeah, I want you to think have you ever done that to somebody? Yeah, that was a good example. Did I lead with empathy or did I lead with my ego? Did you let your ego in the driver's seat? Again, it became about you and not them. Write about it, talk about it with somebody or just reflect on it honestly, because those are the moments that stretch us.

Speaker 1: 33:50

Be transparent and honest with yourself. If you can't be transparent and honest with anybody else, you have to be transparent and honest about yourself. And that's why I wanted to do this episode, because we make being a good person so much of our identity and who we are that we cannot stretch ourselves. We cannot believe you feel like that because I'm a good person. Okay, you are a good person. You just made me feel like shit, though. All right, number three make a repair if you're ready.

Speaker 1: 34:20

Now, this one is an optional one and it got to be spirit led. So if you feel it in the spirit to do this, you go and do this, keisha, not telling you to go talk to nobody, have no conversations with nobody, because I don't need nobody crashing out on you. I don't need you crashing out on them and then coming back and saying it's my fault that out on them and then coming back and saying it's my fault, that's not what I'm saying. This is optional, so this is spirit led. If you feel like this is something that will be a positive thing and will work out, you go forth and you do great work. If you don't think so, don't do this.

Speaker 1: 34:48

If there's someone in your life that you may have hurt, even unintentionally, and now you see how your goodness got in the way of accountability or empathy, and you feel safe enough to reach out, do it and say something like this. I've been reflecting. I listened to Keisha's hashtag the Authentic Life, last episode about being a good person, and it really put me in a reflection mode and I realized I may have missed something in our last conversation and I really want to apologize and I'm actually open to hearing how that felt for you. If you're open to sharing that and then have the conversation. It don't have to be deep and dramatic. We like to get all dramatic and make everything so deep. It don't need to be all of that, it just needs to be real. And sometimes what people really need isn't an apology, it's to know that you were listening, even after the moment passed. So even if that moment you messed up, and then you take that time to do some reflection and then you circle back to that person and then you, like you know what, I realized I wasn't really listening and I probably made you feel bad in that situation. I really want to talk to you about that. You know that may rectify that relationship right, because it's taking accountability that thing we don't like to do. I need to do an episode called hashtag the accountability life, lord knows I knew.

Speaker 1: 36:09

Number four ask for feedback. That grows you. This is the big one. I want you to invite feedback this week. We don't like feedback because we think we good people and we walk around and we need these little perfect people and we don't do nothing wrong and so we don't want to ask nobody. Nothing right.

Speaker 1: 36:26

Go to someone who knows you well and say hey, what's something about the way I show up that I might not see but can grow from? Is there a moment where you didn't feel seen or heard by me, but you never said anything? And then just listen, be quiet, say less, okay, you're not. This is not for you to give any explanations, no clarifications, no justifications. You just need to be present and listen, to hear and understand what they're saying, because that is what authentic, emotionally mature goodness sounds like. Ok, at the end of the day, you're a good person. Nobody is saying that you're not a good person. But again, like I said, the reason why I did this episode is because so many people get wrapped up in that they're a good person that they can't. They feel like they don't do no wrong, right, but you can't let that stop you from growing. Let it be the reason you grow.

Speaker 1: 37:30

Let this week be less about being right and more about being real, less about being seen as a kind person and more about doing the hard work of showing up in kindness, even when your ego wants to tap out. Okay, think about that. Think about what you uncover this week. What surprises you, what changes? Because your reflection doesn't just free you. It creates space for the rest of us to grow too, when we interact and engage with you. Okay, if you're still with me, take a breath. You just done some real hard work, sitting with the truth that being a good person doesn't mean you're above accountability. It doesn't mean you're beyond making mistakes and it definitely doesn't mean you get to opt out of growth. It doesn't mean you're beyond making mistakes and it definitely doesn't mean you get to opt out of growth. It means you're a human being, it means you're becoming, and that's where the power is. And as we continue to live, hashtag the authentic life, we're going to keep peeling back those layers. Okay, we got to, because up next, we're diving into something just as personal, just as reflective and, honestly, just as transformational.

Speaker 1: 38:43

Right, the next episode drops May 9th and it's called hashtag the love versus like life, and I'm going to ask you a question that might catch you off guard Do you truly love the people in your life or do you just like the comfort they bring? Because some of us are out here calling things love that are really just habit. We've confused consistency with intimacy and we've convinced ourselves that closeness equals connection, even when the relationship no longer reflects who we are or where we're going. So in that episode, we're going to unpack what real, rooted, soul, stretching love looks and feels like. How to identify when you're standing in a relationship out of fear, comfort or familiar, how somebody can love you but not like you, and how to love others without losing yourself. So, whether it's romantic, platonic or even family, we're putting some things on the table. So if you ever ask is this relationship feeding me or just filling time? Do I feel deeply loved or just deeply needed? Am I growing or just staying? Then hashtag the love versus like.

Speaker 1: 39:54

Life is going to speak to your soul, but it's time for me to say goodbye. So here's what I want to leave you with today. You are a good person, but that's not the finish line. It's the starting point, because your goodness isn't about how well you perform. It's about how willing you are to pause, reflect and repair the real flex, owning your impact, letting go of your image, choosing growth over being right.

Speaker 1: 40:23

If this episode stretched you, sit with it, journal through it, talk about it with your circle and, if you're ready, share your takeaway with me. Send me a message on LinkedIn. On Instagram, you can go podcasting with Keisha and use hashtag I'm a good person, life, so I can walk through this journey with you. And hey, if no one's told you today, I see you, I'm proud of you and I'm so glad you're doing the work, not for likes, not for approval, but for the peace that comes with living honestly. So, until next time, keep reflecting, keep growing and keep living the life that's full, free and unapologetically yours Peace, love and blessings from your girl, keisha.

Speaker 1: 41:08

Well, folks, the episode has come to an end. Thank you for hanging out with me on the Authentic Life. If you love today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, because subscribing is just like an instant invite to more fun, to more inspiration and to more authentic vibes. I could also use a review, so leave a review or share this with someone that you feel needs a little inspiration, but whatever you do, let's spread the joy of the authentic life. Remember this your authentic self is your greatest gift to the world, and no one should ever make you feel like you aren't. Until next time, stay true, stay bold and keep living the authentic life Peace, love and blessings from your girl, keisha.