#TheSelfWorthLife 🎙️

In this episode of The Authentic Life, we’re diving into self-worth—the foundation of how you show up, what you accept, and the standards you set for yourself.

💡 So many of us pour into others but hesitate to claim our own value. We talk about self-love, but do we truly move like we know our worth? This episode breaks down the key differences between self-love and self-worth, the signs that you might be undervaluing yourself, and practical ways to stand firm in your value every single day.

🔥 Tune in as we cover:
✨ What self-worth really means and how it differs from self-love
🚫 Signs you may be settling for less than you deserve
✅ Actionable steps to strengthen your self-worth in everyday life
💭 Reflection questions to help you assess where you may be undervaluing yourself

💛 Your worth isn’t up for negotiation—it’s yours to own. Let’s talk about how to live like you truly believe it.

🎧 Listen now and step into your worth!

#TheAuthenticLife #SelfWorth #KnowYourValue #LiveUnapologetically

Chapters

• 0:02 Embracing Self-Worth in Authentic Life
• 5:26 Recognizing Self-Worth in Daily Choices
• 18:32 Empowering Self-Worth Through Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi, it's your girl, keisha, and welcome to the Authentic Life. Each episode, I'll guide you on the journey to living fully, freely and unapologetically. Together, we'll dive into real stories, practical insights and steps you can take to embrace your truth and show up as your most authentic self. So guess what? I am glad that you are here with me, let's get started. Glad that you are here with me, let's get started. Hello, hello, hello and welcome back to the Authentic Life Podcast, where we embrace the power of living fully, living freely and, most importantly, living unapologetically as yourself. I'm Keisha, I'm your host and if you're new here, welcome to the space where we talk about what it truly means to show up for yourself and live in alignment with who you are.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Last episode, we talked about hashtag the self-love life, what it means to pour into yourself, show yourself grace and love yourself deeply. But self-love is just the beginning, because loving yourself is one thing, but truly knowing your worth and moving like you know it, that's different. That is what shifts everything. And let me be real with y'all. I know firsthand the battle between self-love and self-worth. You can love yourself, do all the self-care, journal and set intentions, but if, deep down, you still accept less than you deserve, if you over-explain yourself or if you just struggle to say no, that's not a self-love issue, that's a self-worth issue. Self-worth is about knowing not hoping, not wishing, not waiting for someone else to validate you, but knowing with certainty that you deserve respect, love, peace and reciprocity in every space you enter. And when you know your worth, you move different. You stop explaining why you need rest, you stop accepting breadcrumbs when you deserve the full meal, you stop shrinking to make others feel comfortable, you stop staying in spaces that drain you instead of pouring into you. Because here's the truth Self-worth isn't about being perfect or having it all together. It's about making the conscious decision every single day to stand firm in who you are, even when it's hard, even when it means letting go, even when it requires you to walk away from things that no longer serve you. So I want you to start today with a moment of reflection. Ask yourself where in my life am I settling? Where am I playing myself small, accepting less or hesitating to ask for what I truly want? Hold on to that answer, because by the end of this episode, we're going to talk about how to change that. So let's get into hashtag the self-worth life. So let's start here.

Speaker 1: 3:01

Self-love and self-worth are not the same thing. Self-love is about how you treat yourself, how you nurture yourself, how you show up for yourself in kindness and in care. It's the way you pour into yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually. But self-worth that's how you allow others to treat you. It's the internal belief that you are enough as you are and that you deserve to be valued, respected and reciprocated in every space you occupy. So we're going to talk about the difference between self-love and self-worth.

Speaker 1: 3:38

I think one of the biggest misconceptions people have is thinking that self-love automatically equals self-worth. But here's the truth. You can love yourself and still settle for less than you deserve. Think about it. You might take care of yourself, go to therapy, set intentions, practice self-care, but still accept treatment from others that contradicts the love you show yourself. You might encourage your friends to know their worth, but when it comes to your own relationships or job, you hesitate to stand firm in yours. You might say you deserve more, but deep down, you fear that asking for more will push people away or cause conflict. That's the difference between self-love and self-worth. Conflict. That's the difference between self-love and self-worth. Self-love is saying I deserve to be treated well. Self-worth is making sure that the treatment is actually happening. So it's possible to love yourself and still not fully believe in your worth. Because self-worth isn't just about how you feel about yourself. It's about what you require from the world around you. About how you feel about yourself, it's about what you require from the world around you.

Speaker 1: 4:55

So why do we struggle with self-worth and why is it so hard for so many of us to stand in our self-worth? The first thing I come up with is conditioning and upbringing right. Many of us were raised to believe that our value is tied to achievement, people pleasing or how much we can endure. Maybe you grew up in a household where love had to be earned. Maybe you were taught that being low maintenance made you easier to love. These early experiences shape our beliefs and if we aren't careful, we carry them into our adulthood.

Speaker 1: 5:26

The next thing is really around fear and rejection. Sometimes we lower our standards because we're afraid that if we ask for more, people won't give it. We may worry that if we stop tolerating certain behaviors, we'll lose relationships, opportunities or acceptance. But here's the truth the right people, the right jobs and the right situations will rise to meet your worth, not make you shrink to fit into them. The third thing is, sometimes we just don't want to be difficult. We've been conditioned, especially as women and people of color, to be accommodating, agreeable and not too much. But self-worth requires you to take up space to say no without guilt and to stop adjusting yourself just to make others feel comfortable. And lastly, sometimes we just have that fear starting over.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Knowing your worth sometimes means making hard decisions, leaving relationships that aren't fulfilling. Knowing your worth sometimes means making hard decisions, leaving relationships that aren't fulfilling, quitting a job that underpays you or distancing yourself from friendships that drain you and that can feel scary because, even when you know you deserve better, the unknown feels riskier than the familiar. But here's what I want you to take away from this Self-worth is not about being fearless. It's about being courageous enough to choose yourself anyway. Now, a good way to check in with yourself is to ask are my actions aligning with what I value? So if you say you deserve respect but you constantly tolerate disrespect, there's a gap in self-worth. If you say you want reciprocity in relationships but you keep overgiving and making excuses for why others don't show up for you, that's a gap in self-worth. If you say you want a better job but you keep settling for less because you don't believe you'll find something else. That's a gap in self-worth.

Speaker 1: 7:29

True self-worth is walking away from what contradicts what you claim you deserve. I want you to take a moment and reflect. Where in your life do your actions and your self-worth not align? What's one area when you need to reinforce your values? Now that we've talked about what self-worth is, I want to next dive into how it shapes, or how it shows up in everyday life, and the signs that you might be undervaluing yourself. Okay, so, real quick, before we dive into the signs that you might be undervaluing yourself, I want to take a moment to break something down real quick, because I think sometimes this is a battle we may have internally, and that's the difference between self-worth and self-esteem. A lot of people think they're the same thing, but they're not.

Speaker 1: 8:27

Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, and it can fluctuate. Some days you feel confident and capable, other days not so much. So it's influenced by what's happening around you, your achievements, how people treat you or even just how you're feeling that day. But self-worth, that's deeper. It's the constant, the foundation. It's the unshakable belief that you are valuable, regardless of what happens, what others think or what mistakes you've made. Self-esteem says I feel good about myself today. Self-worth says even on my worst days, I still have value. Cerf says even on my worst days, I still have value. And here's where it gets tricky. You can have high self-esteem in certain areas of your life and still struggle with self-worth overall. You might feel confident at work but still accept unhealthy relationships. You might believe in your intelligence but still tolerate friendships where you feel unseen. That's why self-worth is so important, because it determines the standards you set for yourself across every area of your life.

Speaker 1: 9:47

So now let's talk about how this shows up in real time. How do you know if you're undervaluing yourself? What are the signs that, deep down, you're not fully standing in your worth? Let's get into it, ok. So I want to pause here and ask you a question Are you really showing up like you know your worth, not just in theory, but in action? Because self-worth isn't about what you say, it's about what you accept. It's easy to believe that knowing your worth is just about confidence, but it's deeper than that. It shows up in the choices you make, the boundaries you hold and the way you allow people to engage with you. So let's get real. If you say you know your worth, are you truly living like you did?

Speaker 1: 10:43

Here are a few signs that you might actually be undervaluing yourself. The first one is you over-explain yourself. Pay attention to how often you justify your choices. Do you feel the need to explain why you're setting a boundary, why you're taking a break or why you need time for yourself? Over-explaining can be a sign that you don't fully believe you deserve to stand firm in your decisions. You're seeking approval. You want people to understand before you allow yourself to take action. But here's the truth. You don't owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing yourself. If something isn't working for you, if you need rest, if you're making a decision for your own well-being, that's your business. Not everyone will agree, and the thing is, they don't have to Challenge yourself to say what you need to say and leave it at that. No, that doesn't work for me. I need rest. Today. I am not available for that Period. No long-winded explanations required.

Speaker 1: 11:58

The second one is you accept less than what you give. When was the last time you truly felt poured into If you're constantly the one giving emotionally, physically, financially but you're rarely receiving that same energy in return. It's time to ask yourself why am I allowing the imbalance? Maybe you're the friend who always checks in, the partner who always compromises, or the employee who always goes the extra mile, but when you need that same level of care and effort, the energy isn't reciprocated. Self-worth means recognizing that your love, your support and your effort are valuable, and anything valuable should be exchanged, not just given away freely with no return. This doesn't mean you should give with expectations, but it does mean you deserve relationships and environments where your giving is mutual and not one-sided.

Speaker 1: 13:04

The next one is you just struggle to say no. If the thought of saying no makes you anxious, it's time to reflect. We need to understand that no is not just rejection. A lot of times, no is protection. Think about this how often do you say yes just to keep the peace? How many times have you agreed to something when you knew deep down you didn't want to? Struggling to say no is often tied to people pleasing and the fear of disappointing others, but saying yes to things that don't align with you means you're saying no to yourself. Saying no doesn't make you selfish. It makes you clear, and when you truly know your worth, you don't feel guilty for protecting your time, your energy and your peace.

Speaker 1: 14:03

The last one you stay in unfulfilling situations. Now, this one requires some deep self-reflection, because staying in something, whether it's a relationship, a job or a situation, doesn't necessarily or automatically mean that you lack self-love or self-worth. It depends on why you're staying and how you're showing up for yourself in the process. So if you're staying because it aligns with your values, growth and needs, that can actually be an act of self-love. Maybe you're working through challenges, finding new ways to engage or holding space for change. But if you're staying out of fear, obligation or because you don't feel like you deserve better, then it may be worth asking yourself is this serving my self-worth or is it diminishing it?

Speaker 1: 14:56

Wanting to make something work, even when you know you deserve better, doesn't automatically mean that you lack again self-love or self-worth. Sometimes it's a reflection of hope, commitment and investment. You see potential, and that's not a bad thing. However, it's a reflection of hope, commitment and investment. You see potential, and that's not a bad thing. However, it becomes a problem when you're constantly sacrificing your peace, joy and needs to make it work. You're the only one putting in effort, while the other person or situation isn't meeting you halfway. You're staying out of fear, whether it's fear of being alone, fear of starting over or fear of what's next. Trying doesn't mean you don't love yourself. It means you believe in the possibility. But you see, self-worth is recognizing when your effort isn't being reciprocated and being willing to walk away even if things don't change. So the real question is are you trying because you truly believe there's a path forward or because you're afraid to let go of something that no longer aligns with you? Sit with that, because sometimes the hardest decision isn't walking away, it's admitting that you deserve more.

Speaker 1: 16:13

Now I want you to do a self-worth check-in. I want you to think about one area in your life where you've been settling. What's one thing you keep allowing that you know isn't aligned with your highest self? Maybe it's a relationship where you're not truly happy. Maybe it's a job where you're being undervalued. Maybe it's a friendship where you're always giving and never receiving. Write it down, sit with it. Ask yourself why am I allowing this?

Speaker 1: 16:46

Because in the next segment, we're going to talk about how to change. Okay, so now that we've talked about the signs of undervaluing yourself, let's focus on solutions, because recognizing the problem is only the first step Changing how you move is the real work. So here's the thing Self-worth isn't just something you have, it's something you build. It's a muscle and, like any muscle, if you don't actively work on strengthening it, it weakens over time. So if you've been operating from a place of fear, insecurity or settling, this next part is for you. So here are five ways to strengthen your self-worth.

Speaker 1: 17:30

The first one is identify the root of your self-worth struggles. If you struggle with self-worth, it's not because you're broken. It's because somewhere along the line, you learned that your value was conditional. Maybe it started in childhood, being praised only when you achieve something, or feeling like you had to earn love. Maybe it came from relationships where you were told you were too much or not enough. Whatever the case, self-worth issues don't just appear out of nowhere. They're learned patterns, which means they can also be unlearned by asking yourself when did I first start questioning my worth? What experiences shape the way I see myself today? Whose voice am I still carrying? That tells me I have to prove myself. Once you know where these beliefs come from, you can start dismantling them and replacing them with the truth.

Speaker 1: 18:32

Number two treat yourself like you would treat anyone else. Treat yourself like someone you deeply respect. We often give others grace, understanding and kindness, but struggle to extend the same courtesy to ourselves. Think about someone you admire. How would you treat them? How would you speak to them? Would you let them settle for less? If the answer is no, then ask yourself why am I not holding myself to the same standard? Start showing up for yourself the way you would for someone you deeply love and respect. Speak to yourself, kindly, advocate for yourself and refuse to accept anything less than you deserve.

Speaker 1: 19:23

Number three start saying no without justifying it. Many of us were raised to believe that saying no makes us selfish, difficult or inconsiderate. But let's be real. No is a boundary, not an apology. Saying no doesn't mean you're rejecting someone. It means you're protecting your energy. And the truth is, people who respect you won't be offended by your boundaries. They are. Honor them. So try this the next time you're about to say no. Stop yourself from over explaining. Just say I'm not available for that or that doesn't work for me, period, and watch how empowering it feels to stand in your decision without feeling the need to defend it.

Speaker 1: 20:09

Number four surround yourself with people who reflect your worth back to you. Your environment plays a major role in how you see yourself. If you are constantly around people who take advantage of you, dismiss your needs or make you question your value, that will slowly chip away at your self-worth. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with certain people. Do you feel energized or drained? Do you feel seen or invisible? The people in your life should reinforce your self-worth, not make you doubt it.

Speaker 1: 20:50

And number five affirm yourself daily and back it up with action. Words are powerful and what you tell yourself every day becomes your reality. But affirmations alone are not enough. You have to actually live them. So, instead of just saying I'm worthy, ask yourself how would a person who believes they are worthy show up today? Would they hesitate to ask for what they need? Would they accept half-hearted love? Would they put themselves last? Probably not Every morning. Try this. We're doing that mirror work, remember. Stand in front of the mirror and say I am worthy of love, respect and reciprocity. My presence is valuable. I do not have to shrink to be accepted and then, throughout the day, make choices that align with that truth. So here's a way that you can begin to take action with self-worth practice.

Speaker 1: 21:58

Strengthening your self-worth isn't just about what you believe. It's about what you do. You know I've said that already, so let's put this into action. I want you to take out a piece of paper or open the notes app on your phone and write down three things. I want you to write down one belief about yourself that no longer serves you. An example is I have to work twice as hard to be valued. Second, I want you to write one way you will reinforce your self-worth this week. So an example of that is I will say no to something that doesn't align with me without explaining. And the third thing is I want you to find one person or situation you need to distance yourself from because it's not honoring your worth. Then sit with these, reflect on them and then do something about them, because, at the end of the day, self-worth isn't just a mindset, it's a movement. You don't just think it, you have to live it. Well, wonderful people, we are coming to a close and I want to leave you with this your worth is not something you have to prove, it's something that you have to own.

Speaker 1: 23:19

For too long, many of us have been conditioned to believe that our value is tied to how much we do, how much we give or how well we fit into other people's expectations. But true self-worth isn't about what you bring to the table. It's about knowing that you are the table table. As I've said so many times, I am a work in progress and I truly believe that I grow personally with each episode I release, because it's a reminder of the areas where I still need growth, or it's just a reflection of what I've come out of, and this episode in particular is one of those reminders. It's a reminder that I, too, can improve in certain relationships and that self-worth isn't just about knowing that I'm worthy. It's about demonstrating through action that I am worthy.

Speaker 1: 24:18

Because when you fully embrace your self-worth, you stop negotiating it, you stop explaining why you deserve respect, you stop settling for less than what you give and you stop waiting for someone else to validate your value. Instead, you move with confidence, you trust yourself, you choose environments that see you, honor you and support your growth and, most importantly, you stop staying in places that require you to shrink just to be accepted. This week, I challenge you to do something bold. Make one decision that fully reflects your worth, whether it's saying no to something that drains you, asking for what you truly deserve, or simply choosing to walk away, let go of those things that no longer serve you, and that's taking one step that affirms your value. And if you're still working through what that looks like for you, that's okay, because the journey to self-worth isn't about getting it right all the time. It's about choosing yourself more often.

Speaker 1: 25:36

If this episode spoke to you, send it to somebody who needs the reminder, because we're all works in progress. Nobody is perfect. There are no perfect people allowed over here. Right? We are still trying to learn and grow and, in some cases, go. So until next time, keep showing up for yourself, not because you have to, but because you deserve to Peace. Blessings from your girl, keisha. Well, folks, the episode has come to an end. Thank you for hanging out with me on the Authentic Life. If you loved today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, because subscribing is just like an instant invite to more fun, to more inspiration and to more authentic vibes. I could also use a review, so leave a review or share this with someone that you feel needs a little inspiration. But whatever you do, let's spread the joy of the authentic life. Remember this your authentic self is your greatest gift to the world and no one should ever make you feel like you aren't. Until next time, stay true, stay bold and keep living the authentic life Peace, love and blessings from your girl, keisha.